Texts from the Anfield directors' box (sort of)
Texts intercepted from a 'mystery person in Anfield Directors' Box last night, signed only 'TH'
7.42pm: great to be back at Anfield. Crowd singing in my honour, so I joined in - sang words of You'll Never Walk Home - got them wrong, but no-one noticed! What's weather like back in Texas? Memo to self - Liverpool FC name too dull - investigate franchise name change.
7.45pm: Tip off - Merseyside Reds rule. Chelsea Blues suck.
8.35pm: Go Duke Clark! Awesome score strike to Beatles FC!! Memo to self - call bank after we win to get better deal on loans - everyone loves a winner!
9.05pm: Nothing is happening - soccer is boring. Memo to self - call architects for six-month redesign on stadium to get ESPN in executive superbox complexes, so I can watch real sport.
9.50pm: High drama at the KFC superdome. Arnie Reece scores an overtime net slam dunk and it's two points to zip to the Liverpool Red Strikers (tm)!!
10.05pm: Congratulate manager on 2-0 blowout triumph. He tells me it is only 1-1, then walks away shaking his head. He must be worried about the second tie.
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