Liverpool 1, Standard Liege 0: All too sub Standard!
IF winning ugly is an art form then it can only be a matter of time before Liverpool are installed as favourites for this year's Turner Prize.
First Sunderland were pick pocketed in their own backyard, next Middlesbrough were mugged and last night Standard Liege became the latest victims as the Reds again took a path to victory which at timesbordered on the grotesque.
Rarely can such hideous performances have been rewarded as disproportionately as theirs are at present with the multi million pound jamboree that is the group stages of the Champions League being the latest prize to come their way.
All the pock marks and disfigurements which have made them so difficult to watch since the season began were again evident but somehow Liverpool managed to see off the Belgian champions despite being inferior over the two legs.
The lack of width which has rendered Liverpool's attack as limp as Pele without his pocket pills was again all too evident, as was the inexplicable lack of confidence that is plaguing a team which has not lost a game of any sort since Chelsea knocked them out of the Champions League at the semi-final stage last April.
Most worryingly of all though, and despite what the final result might suggest, at times last night Liverpool were made to look like novices by a team which has never even competed in the Champions League proper.
Standard Liege are the best team in Belgium and judging by their performances over the two legs of this tie they are also a very durable and well organised side which would cause problems to pretty much anyone they meet.
But they have none of Liverpool's European pedigree, experience or star quality and yet they still managed to put their far more illustrious opponents on the rack far too many times for the liking of the Anfield crowd.
As was the case in Liege a fortnight ago, Pepe Reina was again Liverpool's best player and again that is a damning indictment in its own right.
Had it not been for two stunning saves in the first half - not to mention his man of the match display in the first leg - Liverpool would today be facing the prospect of a season of taking on the continent's also rans in European backwaters rather than dreaming of winning the Champions League in Rome next May.
And were it not for the fortunes that a place in the group stages brings then a dose of the harsh reality that only the UEFA Cup can bring to a European superpower may have been just what the doctor ordered for Rafa Benitez and his side.
At the moment they are stumbling around from one game to the next with no pattern to their play and no sign of the cohesive, imaginative attacking football which is required of a team of their stature if they are to be successful.
They are still winning games, but only just, and it is surely only a matter of time before their luck runs out and some opponent or other takes advantage of their glaring and endemic weaknesses.
Before last night's game, Steven Gerrard revealed that no-one at Anfield was even contemplating elimination.
That may be the mindset of champions but Liverpool are not performing with the same kind of belief as their captain and the longer their current malaise continues the more likely it is that they will have to get used to the idea of not competing for the biggest prizes.
Indeed, their display against Standard was so sub-standard it was tempting to believe that the only medals on display at Anfield this season will be the Olympic gongs paraded pre-match by Javier Mascherano, Lucas Leiva and boxer David Price.
Apart from the obvious benefits of making it through the qualifying phase, the only other positive Liverpool can cling to is that they possess a resilience which at times defies logic.
If you're struggling to pass the ball with any great accuracy and chances are being created only occasionally then winning football matches should be the tallest of orders.
But this Liverpool side is managing to come up with victories even though their form has pretty much deserted them.
The current situation was given dramatic personification by Dirk Kuyt last night as the Dutchman scored the dramatic winning goal after a performance he will not look back on with any great affection.
Like so many of his team mates, Kuyt is struggling badly at the moment and his touch and passing against Liege would have made a Sunday league player blush.
And yet when it mattered most, it was Kuyt who pounced at the far post to give Ryan Babel's superb cross the finish it deserved just as penalties loomed large.
The spot kicks lottery was the least the visitors deserved having showed that their display in Liege a fortnight ago was no one off.
But late goals have become a speciality to Liverpool in recent games and it was no surprise to see them snatch a winner nearing half past ten.
As Kuyt's close range effort hit the net the crowd did not so much erupt as exhale in collective relief as the realisation dawned on everyone that Liverpool had again come up with a way of winning a game logic suggested they had no right to.
The watching Alex Ferguson had long since departed by then, no doubt content in the knowledge that should Liverpool perform so abjectly when they meet United in their next home game they will have little to trouble the current league champions.
Ferguson will not be alone in such thoughts either as concern spreads among fans as every game passes without any sign of an improvement in form.
Their teams current winning run is certainly not fooling anyone and the season itself will soon turn ugly unless the beautiful game becomes the order of the day.
LIVERPOOL: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Skrtel, Aurelio, Kuyt, Gerrard, Alonso, Benayoun (Babel, 60), Keane (El Zhar, 82), Torres (Plessis, 120).
STANDARD LIEGE: Espinoza, Dante, Onyewu, Dalmat (Jovanovic, 86), Defour (Nicaise, 118), Mbokani, De Camargo (Toama, 100), Camozzato, Sarr, Fellaini, Witsel.
REFEREE: Massimo Busacca
ATTENDANCE: 43,889
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Sure, Sir Alex probably left thinking it will be easy but I have a feeling with have a few tricks in store. One of them is called Javier!